the day after my last post, i had to fly back to the states as my mother started cancer treatments. i did quite a bit of crochet for her while there - nice cozy hats and scarves to keep her little bald chemo head warm. after 33 days of treatments the doctors though they had shrunk the cancer in the lymph nodes around her heart enough to go in and extract, as well as take the cancerous lung as well.
surgery was on april 25th.
i flew back home on april 28th as it was the first flight i could get.
my mom passed away on may 8th at 4:44am.
while i was there i finished a really nice cashmere fisherman's type hat for my dad.
and i missed my flight back home due to the doctor asking me to sign my mother's full DNR as it was the i knew we only had a matter of days. i am so glad i went and took the decision to stay.
but i could not afford a $1000.00 one way ticket back to london, which is what they cost at short notice...so a lovely friend donated his air miles to get me home...he even paid the tax on the flight for me.
which is good, as i only managed three days of work the whole time i was away.
i was going to do porn, but just wasn't in the mood, lol...
now i am back in london and going to crochet my little fingers off to make a thank you present for my air miles friend - that is the least i can do...
still reflecting on all the fucking bullshit from the last year and beyond.
pondering how my stupid fucking husband didnt want reg traviss at our wedding but in the end reg is still in our lives and the drunken fuckwit husband is hiding on benefits in some dive in bristol...
..which brings me to the present day and all the shit we have flying round this week. niceness first!
(almost wrote FIST lol) we have a lovely lesbo wedding to go to tomorrow. our dear dear friend that was in our crisis houses is getting married to her lady...so happy for both of them!!
unfortunately its the same day as THE TRIAL.
then blah blah blah fuck you washed up eastenders actor who got knocked back by my daughter then tried it on with me. ha.
wow its been a long long time.
summer is gone and winter feels like its almost upon us.
i'm cuddled up on the sofa watching american horror story 2 and can't believe another halloween is about to pass with even less scary crochet than last year! so far this year i only managed jack-o-lantern hats and baby blankets. but i still have some time for skully day of the dead hats!
i swear next year i'm going to start halloween crochet straight after easter.
so let's hope the next year is better than the last, because last year definitely sucked balls big time, you know with the whole getting back together with my drunken racist ex that was on house arrest, him beating the fuck out of me, the ensuing police/jail/court shit, bootie calls in stockholm that cut me off after, feeling like shit, feeling low, going on a retreat, redundancy, debt, finding new toy who turned out to be a thick stupid asshole, realising i carry around a huge ball of unadulterated pure fucking rage and grief, i carry grudges now, i cry with hate, i let myself get drunk too much, cancer attacking my loved ones, meeting someone and thinking they are nice to just be ignored again, realising i am just probably to old and indifferent to feel that intense kind of love again...trying very very hard to just not fucking give up. anger.
the only thing good has been fire dancing with sorcha, turkish roma dance, some of my other bellydance shows and sidestepping jobs, and lovely new tattoos, but most of all my little baby puggle ELVIS FUCKING KRIST and having my lovely daughter isis here with me through it all. and realising that true friends are there. and getting rid of fuckwits out of my life! oh and red wine. nice red wine.
i got some new trial varifocal contact lenses, and they are great for gigs and watching tv - but i cannot read a damn thing with them on...so have not been online much nor following any patterns, instead freeformed a going away present for my ex punkerboyfriend (nice one). made him my usual pirate bunting but instead of crocheting the skull flags to the hanging thread, i attached them with safety pins to make it look more punk - but also so he can detach the flags and use them as dish/wank cloths.
then i popped my contact lenses out and started experimenting with an ABC afghan for my latest boytoy's little nephew shayon...but as things have not been all that rosy lately i am not feeling that inspired to even start the damn thing. don't get me wrong - i do really love the guy, but sometimes i just get bored of his drunken antics...i realise he is just having fun, but it's not fun for me. so instead of starting the ABC afghan i have decided to work on my first curse word bunting!
shall be my first curse word bunting, and i do hope it only the first of many many more as i have all my favourite curses waiting in the wings to become a bit of crafty art...words like cockcheese, cuntgribble, titweasel, fuckbucket, and maybe even a double worder with FANNY FLAPS...well, better go get started.
now, what colour is a cunthammer???
i have a stitch date for next week with the lovely charity man from ravelry!!!
not seen him in absolutely ages, so we have LOADS of catching up to do...have really really missed him.
will probably be taking along my black work as still making bits and pieces for my bedroom window dressing. i've found a few bit of inspiration, but also in my mind think i've got something good happening...stay tuned, xxx
have picked up the crochet again...
...and have had quite a fruitful month.
i've been making jubilee bunting, pirate flag bunting, baby things, and lots of little black skulls to make some sort of window decoration for my bedroom now the ex has finally moved all his shit out and the room is all mine mine mine (well except when the new boytoy is staying over)
here's some tasteful jubilee bunting...also good for fourth of julys!