Oct 30, 2012

devil's night post. sometimes you just gotta get it out.

wow its been a long long time.
summer is gone and winter feels like its almost upon us.
i'm cuddled up on the sofa watching american horror story 2 and can't believe another halloween is about to pass with even less scary crochet than last year!  so far this year i only managed jack-o-lantern hats and baby blankets. but i still have some time for skully day of the dead hats!

i swear next year i'm going to start halloween crochet straight after easter.
so let's hope the next year is better than the last, because last year definitely sucked balls big time, you know with the whole getting back together with my drunken racist ex that was on house arrest, him beating the fuck out of me, the ensuing police/jail/court shit, bootie calls in stockholm that cut me off after, feeling like shit, feeling low, going on a retreat, redundancy, debt, finding new toy who turned out to be a thick stupid asshole, realising i carry around a huge ball of unadulterated pure fucking rage and grief, i carry grudges now, i cry with hate, i let myself get drunk too much, cancer attacking my loved ones, meeting someone and thinking they are nice to just be ignored again, realising i am just probably to old and indifferent to feel that intense kind of love again...trying very very hard to just not fucking give up. anger.

the only thing good has been fire dancing with sorcha, turkish roma dance, some of my other bellydance shows and sidestepping jobs, and lovely new tattoos, but most of all my little baby puggle ELVIS FUCKING KRIST and having my lovely daughter isis here with me through it all. and realising that true friends are there. and getting rid of fuckwits out of my life! oh and red wine. nice red wine.

1 comment:

Emanation said...

Love you Cherie, learn to love yourself throughout and the right partner will join you on your journey.xxxxxx